What It Means to Keep Going
21 Questions with Marisa Renee Lee on moving forward in the face of uncertainty.
Marisa Renee Lee writes about grief with wisdom and compassion. In her first book, the bestselling Grief Is Love, she approached the complex feelings and emotions that accompany loss with a perspective shaped by deep personal experience.
Her new book, Waiting for Dawn: Living with Uncertainty, turns to a different but related challenge: how to live well when the future feels unclear, and control is out of reach. It’s a question that feels especially urgent right now.
In this edition of 21 Questions, Marisa reflects on writing, caregiving, and the challenge of making space for the work.
21 Questions with Marisa Renee Lee
1. I couldn’t have written my last book without…
A lot of naps on the floor of my office, takeout, childcare (free and paid), and the Cowboy Carter album.
2. What’s the thing most people get wrong about being a writer?
That being a writer makes you rich. I wish!
3. Do you read your reviews?
I used to, but after encountering a few reviews where people called me a racist, I’ve stopped. I know what I’ve created and who I create for, and I’m not for everyone, and that’s OK.
4. What’s the first thing you do after you finish a draft?
Cry and then ideally drink bourbon.
5. Kiss, marry, kill: podcasts, newsletters, and speaking gigs.
Marry: podcasts
Kiss: speaking gigs
Kill: newsletters (I think their moment has kind of passed. I believe a shift is coming in that space for sure.)
6. What’s something you wish you’d started doing five years ago?
Putting myself first. When we prioritize our needs, we make life so much easier for ourselves and others, and unfortunately, it’s taken getting long covid to realize that.
7. Where do you find new ideas, and how do you keep track of them?
I find ideas everywhere, and I usually put them in the notes section of my iPhone, so I don’t forget them! I am middle-aged and have long COVID, so my memory is not what it used to be!
8. What’s the best piece of professional advice you’ve ever received?
Glenn Hutchins told me to just keep making career decisions aligned with my interests and my values, and it would all work out. One day, I would look in the rear-view mirror and be shocked at how far I’d come. He was right.
9. And the worst?
Anything or anyone who tries to convince me my career is the most important thing in my life. It is not. My family is so much more important.
10. What’s on your nightstand right now?
Kindle, journal, night guard, an ancient Bible, and a Laniege overnight lip mask. (Highly recommend!)
11. How did you find your agent?
By paying attention to people who were happy to help me just because. Marya Spence had been in and out of my life for a few years before I signed with her, and she’s just a really good human. I’m very lucky.
12. What’s a writing rule you’ve happily broken?
I don’t even know what the rules are, but I wrote most of my first book on an iPhone while tending to a newborn, so I’m sure that broke a few rules!
13. What tech tools (AI included) do you actually use—and which ones do you actively ignore?
I’m notoriously bad at tech. I found out a few weeks ago that I wasn’t even using my podcast mic correctly. I appreciate tech, but I prefer pens, index cards, bulletin boards, and journals.
14. What’s the best non-writing skill that’s helped your writing career?
Meditation.
15. How many drafts before you show your editor?
Two to three.
16. Can you describe your ideal workday?
Slow start, lots of time to think, write and strategize, and minimal calls and meetings
17. How does that compare to your actual workday?
Well, my day starts in mom land, taking care of my son and getting him ready for school, and I work in progressive politics in addition to my work as a writer. As you can imagine, that work has been pretty busy lately! I usually get my ideal day once a week
18. If you could write one book in a totally different genre than you usually do, which would it be?
Historical fiction—my favorite
19. What’s something about the writing life that still surprises you?
You can’t force it. The words come when they come. The best thing you can do is take good care of yourself and invest time in the people and places that inspire you.
20. Fill in the blank: In five years, successful authors will all be…
Multi-hyphenates. I think it’s hard to be any one thing, so I think many writers will wear multiple hats professionally.
21. What is your new book about?
Waiting for Dawn is about navigating uncertainty. Over a three-year period, our family suffered multiple losses, and then I found myself sick with long COVID. It was all incredibly challenging and overwhelming, and throughout, I felt a real desire to learn how we can all live well during seasons of pain and uncertainty. Fundamentally, this book is about hope.
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Until next time,
Panio Gianopoulos
Editorial Director, Author Insider & The Next Big Idea Club
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This was so good! I look forward to picking up a copy of this book! Thanks for sharing this!